Divorce – a Necessary Evil ? was last modified: April 1st, 2018 by Howard Iken

is divorce nescessary

Divorce – A Necessary Evil ?

Many people try to hold on to a union for all of the wrong reasons. Some people do it solely for their children. Some people do it because they think divorce will make them a failure. Some even do it because they don’t think they can survive financially. These are all pitfalls and misconceptions that stand in the way of progress. Remember, the easiest thing to do to solve a problem is absolutely nothing. But, when you do nothing, you still have a problem.  Getting a divorce is one of the hardest decisions to make; however, there are certain things that can force your hand.  Certain things are unforgivable and require a divorce whether you realize it now or wait until it happens to you again.


divorce is necessary


Video ThumbnailAttorney Claudia Blackwell on social media in court cases

Don’t let your marriage last past it’s expiration date because you think that all you need is love in order to rebuild trust. If he or she cheated on you with another person, don’t make excuses for them.  They have no respect for you or the marriage. Don’t lie to yourself and say that you can get over it and trust them completely again. Unfortunately, you will find out that’s a misconception. Trust is a vital part of any union and once it is broken in such a disrespectful manner, then there is no union. We all try to hold on for the fear of the unknown, or the fear of change, or the fear of being alone and that just makes things worse. Material things like a house or car can and will be replaced. You must realize that the two of you are not compatible in important ways. You must be on the same page with your spouse when it comes to important matters such as the quality of life, romance, and sex. A marriage is more than just paying the bills and living under the same roof. After one spouse cheats, then divorce is inevitable. The longer you wait to divorce, the longer it is going to take for you to recover and build something with someone that cherishes everything about you. Instead of placing all of your energy into trying to keep a sinking ship afloat, you should concentrate on your future and the possibility of finding a new and more compatible partner.


Once you decide that there is no turning back and that you deserve much more than someone who didn’t hold your love in a high regard, the process itself could be fairly easy. If your spouse doesn’t fight you on anything, then things might move along smoothly.  The main reason for that would be out of guilt. So you could do the do-it-yourself divorce at the courthouse. It is simply a matter of filling in the blanks on the pre-made forms. There was a form for most of the basic situations including the custody of children and visitation rights. If you have a child together, then try to be in agreement on that topic as well. The completed form has to be sent to the court for acceptance and to finalize the divorce. It is unbelievably simple and self-explanatory. Realize that most people can’t do it this way because of vindictive and underhanded spouses so, if there is no fight, jump at the chance. It just might work in your unique situation. You won’t know for sure what your spouse will do until divorce papers are served.


When it is all said and done, the worst part about the divorce will be the fact that you have to share your  children and will naturally become less and less a part of their life. If you can

avoid it, don’t fight for

Video ThumbnailAttorney Kate Newton-John discusses Uncontested Divorce

custody because things can become real ugly real quick. The fact that you can’t see and hold your children will be the one thing that stings the most. In this case, divorce will definitely be the right thing for you even though there are things that could be uncomfortable about it. Just because you have been with someone for several years doesn’t mean that the two of you are compatible. Many couples don’t take the time to really get to know each other before marriage. Quite a few get married before they even knew what they wanted in life let alone a partner. One good thing about a bad decision in this case is that you can correct it with a divorce and take everything as a lesson learned. Be grateful that you still have a chance to do it right. You simply have to make a firm decision and stick to it. Decide to choose yourself and love yourself enough to want better and know that you can get better.


Holding on to what used to be or what could have been will not change what is. After someone cheats there is unrepairable damage done and, unless you want something second rate, divorce is the only solution. Some people should not be together or married and, realizing that sooner than later, can have a big impact on your current and future happiness. Getting divorced can be a blessing in disguise and just imagine how bitter and disconnected you will be if you are still married to them later on down the line?

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Over the past 14 years Ayo & Iken has helped over 5,000 people just like you